Islamic Motivation- Things to do after a break-up

Assalammualaikum dear readers,


In this entry I would like to venture into this interesting yet mysterious topic. So, after a break-up, what happens to you?


Whoever has went through a break-up will understand the pain and the hurtful feeling. But, of course it depends on who asked for a break-up.


The first thing to do after a break-up is to repent to Allah The Almighty.

Why?

Repenting will cleanse your soul. Cry your heart out to Allah and complain to Him about your sadness. Tell Allah that you will not repeat the same mistake of being in a haraam relationship. Why is having a romantic relationship before marriage is haraam in Islam?

First of all, what is Haraam?

I am not that well-versed to explain from a Quranic point of view, but I can explain it in the simplest manner that even someone who has never heard of Islam could understand. That is, Haraam is when something you do or say harms you and others. When there is an element of harmfulness, hurtfulness and degradation, that's what Haraam is. For example, if you bought an expensive mobile phone and you found out that the phone is not working like what it has been advertised for, you knew that you have been cheated and that seller is doing something haraam. The seller has lied and it costs you your money and your hopes, isn't it very hurtful? Or, a fruit seller adjusted his or her weighing scale in order to cheat customers, that is haraam.


In a romantic relationship, couples tend to do things that they should not do. This is a fact.

Why? When 2 people are together in private, there is a 3rd person, and that is the Shaytaan. No one is spared. Even if you are a religious person, you need to be careful not to be in this situation.


Example on the things couples normally do like hugging, touching and and the things that married couples does. When there is a break-up, almost all the time the blame will go to the girl or the girl will get a bad name. I do not know if there is a society who blames only the guy for leaving a girl especially if the girl is pregnant. So, being in a romantic relationship before marriage brings more harm and it degrades the image and honour of a girl or a guy.


So, breakups mean sadness and misery. If you allow yourself drown in your misery, you will die as you fill your body cells with negativity and it slowly kills you. Why on earth would you want to die for someone who left you? That person left. Never meant for you and that person belongs to someone who is just like him or her. Perhaps, your values and principles differ.


Yes, you cannot control the person who left, but you can control on how you react towards the break-up. You can choose to live miserably or get right up and be a better person.


So, how do you know if your repentance is accepted by Allah?

You feel calm, your outlook changed and you become a better person. You tend to do what Allah asks you to do. You take good care of yourself, your family and the people around you.


Secondly, admit the fact that you were part responsible of the break-up.

Admitting the fact that you were part responsible will help you to get through the break-up quickly. You accept the fact that you did few major mistakes and you take the responsibility. The longer you blame your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend for the breakup, the longer you will suffer.

There is nothing wrong crying over a break-up as it helps to release the hurtful feeling and it will make you feel better. But, remember do not let yourself drown for too long as it will harm your health and it will get your family and those who love you worried.


Lastly, pick yourself up and please Allah The Almighty, you will be happy.

Remember, that person left because he or she decided to do so. You cannot control that. Come on, while you were in the relationship, you already knew there were red flags. You knew something was not right and perhaps you were having second thoughts. Be grateful that the guy or girl did you a favour by leaving.

Never feel like you're never going to be good enough for anyone. You will meet someone who is good enough for you and you're good enough for him or her. That is when both parties will work together to make it happen.


Pray to Allah that the right one will come quickly. The right one is the one who loves Allah. To meet the right person, you need to have a good heart and you need to be like the one you want to be with. If you want him or her to be righteous, you need to be one too. If you want the right one to be respectful, you need to be respectful too. Remember, if he or she doesn't respect you, how could he or she loves you for the sake of Allah?


Being single is far better than being in a haraam relationship. You might ask how on earth would you know is the person is the right one if you don't go out and date and get to know each other well?

You broke-up even when you your ex knew so much about you and you know so much about your ex. You broke-up even when you have dated for quite some time and you thought that the relationship was going to have a happy ending and that is marriage.

So, to get new results, you need to go back to the best strategy. That is, the strategy that Allah The Almighty has mentioned in the Noble Quran and the Prophet Muhammad's advice on finding your soulmate. Of course, coupling is never in it.
So, remember, pick yourself up for the sake of Allah. He gives you life, every breath you take belongs to Him. Everything you have belongs to Him.

There are many more tips on how to move-on after a break-up, but I stop here and will resume in the next entry. Stay tuned. Thanks for reading and I hope what I wrote will in a way help you to move-on and be a better Muslim or a better person.



"Finding your soulmate is a journey, not a race"- Suffiya Rose




Written by Suffiya Rose

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