Monday, April 4, 2011

How to know if a person is lying?

-Have you ever been in a conversation where you feel like you have known the other person for like forever?

-Have you ever been in a conversation where the body gestures and movements of the other person seem to contradict what he or she says?

- Have you ever been in a conversation where you could sense that the other person is not saying the truth?


It is of human nature that when we are in a conversation, everyone of us has the ability in sensing if the utterance of words by the other person is true or otherwise. This is due to our 'fitrah' or conscience which is always there for us even when we do not need it, the more we deny our conscience, the louder it will try to tell us that there is something not quite right with the other person's reaction or answer. Or in other words, it is of human nature when we are in a conversation, we are able to sense the uneasiness just by looking at the other person's non-verbal communication.


Remember, when you feel like there are contradictions in a person's words and body language, believe me...there is something wrong with that person...it could be of that person is not true in his or her words..
this is because our brain can instantaneously identify the contradictions by observing the followings:-


1.(Non-Verbal) Body Language

Eyes
People say the eyes are the passage to the heart. Very true, when  a person is sincerely happy for you...the eyes  lite up and the pupils enlarge, that is a sign of excitement.

If a person who is in a conversation with you and honestly feel sadden by your story or by a difficulty  you are facing, the eyes will be looking right and downwards. It means that the person is actually imagining your difficulties and sympathizes as well. Also, it means that the other person is actually feeling or moved by what you are trying to tell or convey.

If the other person's eyes rolling to the left and remain to the left upwards tells a different story altogether. It means that the other person is calculating something or thinking about something quantitatively,or figuring something out, nothing on emotions.

One classic interpretation on eyes is when a person does not or refuse or reluctant to look you in the eyes while talking to you, it generally means that the person is lying or not telling you the right story. Or it can be that person is too shy to look you in the eyes. (^^;)

Feet
If the position of the feet is directing towards you or facing you, it means that the person decides to stay longer and actually wants to hear and interested in what you are trying to say. If the feet is pointing to another direction, say to the left or to the right, it means that the other person in not interested and wants to leave immediately...

Head Position
If the head tilts to the right, it means the other person is listening attentively and is trying to be involved emotionally...
if the head tilts to the left, it means is calculating or trying to figure out something...


Hands/Arms
Open palms means welcoming gestures, the other person is open to anything that you are saying...
The typical interpretation on crossed- arms is the other person is feeling uncomfortable in the conversation or gets defensive. However, crossed -arms also means that the other person is actually tired, or simply wants to rest his or her arms  on their chests. However, a typical interpretation will be of that crossed- arms tells us that the person is not that interested and prefers not to listen to what we are saying if he or she has the option of doing so.
If a person is smiling away or laughing or gigling while crosses his or her arms, it can be seen as that person is really  feeling uncomfortable with the topic.



Verbal

Voice intonation
Intonation involves low, moderate and high pitch in voice. One can immediately identify the emotions of the other person who are in the same conversation. So what does this have to do with a person lying? This is an element in a conversation where one is unable to control. It means that if a person is being defensive in answering questions, the intonation speaks louder than the words being uttered.


Voice velocity
This refers to speed of voice. Im sure it is quite confusing, how do we identify someone is lying by the speed of words utterance? It is suffice to say that it is not easy to hold back emotions, therefore if a person seems to look as if he or she is trying to suppress an emotion, it can also be seen through the lines on the forehead.

Eyebrow
Other than the voice velocity, our eyebrows tend to produce movements according to our actual emotions. It means that we cannot control or manipulate the movements of our eyebrows. Tell your friend about something they do not expect, their eyebrows will definitely move upwards like a wide n shape, or try to say something confusing, the eyebrows will definitely move downwards like a v or almost crumpled v shape.
This means that if a person is lying, the eyebrows will automatically contradict what they are trying to say or convey.


Some people might argue that if we know the art of non-verbal communication, then we might manipulate or control our body language in order to not to reveal any true emotions or intentions. However, controlling our body language has its limitations. Also, people might arque the authenticity of findings or interpretations on body language. It can be said that interpretations differ from a person to another person, however in general, interpretations remain the same.

There are many books on body language and it is generally known that the interpretations are quite similar. The only difference is on the arrangements of words and of course, the authors.

Scenario 1

Honey : Tell me about yesterday's event, how was it?
Stinky : Hmm...it was fun, there were hmmm..many happy people participated in the games and hmm..i would say overal it was good...
(note that Stinky hesitated and paused with regards to his voice velocity and let's say in this instance, Stinky's eyes moved right downwards, so what does that tell Honey? Yup, Stinky lied. Stinky did not have fun.


Hakcipta Terpelihara Rosita Arman Michael 2011

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